Love You Still

  Love You Still

  Moon Lake Series Book 1

  Kat Bammer

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  The Moon Lake Series Books

  Meant to Be

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Dear friend,

  The Sec Ops Group Books

  My husband,

  Every goal, every dream, every crazy idea I come up with, you support me, believe in me, and cheer me on.

  I couldn’t have found a better man.

  Love you.

  Copyright © by Kat Bammer

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information, storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  * * *

  Editing by Kathy Bosman, Indie Editing Chick

  Proofreading by Tandy Proofreads

  1

  Lisa Reynolds’ fingers tightened around the railing while she looked down—way down into the black water.

  “Don’t jump, we can always talk about it.”

  Lisa blinked away the heat before she turned to her best friend, Claire Gunterson, and rolled her eyes. “Might be more comfortable in the water than in there. Wanna jump together?” The wind blew Lisa’s hair across her face and she pushed it behind her ear.

  Claire settled next to her at the railing and stared down the hull of the cruise ship they were on and into the dark water of the Caribbean Sea. “Tempting, but no way in hell.”

  Lisa looked down again. Honestly, she wouldn’t jump even if her life depended on it. She loved the water, just not so much in the dark, and she wasn’t a huge fan of heights; the combination of the two looked like an endless black hole.

  Kind of like her life right now.

  “But how about we go in there”—Claire pointed at the bar where the farewell party took place—“and tell your ex-dick what’s what?”

  Lisa shrugged; maybe she should jump, just to avoid the party.

  Claire tapped her foot. “Why’re we even here if you dread it so much?”

  “Courtesy, I guess?”

  “Ha, courtesy, my ass. The guy dumped you for a job. You don’t have to play nice.”

  “I’m not playing nice.”

  “Oh, I see, and why are you hiding out here? It’s freezing.”

  “I needed fresh air for a moment. Let’s head back inside.” Lisa loosened her clasp on the railing and her eyes met Claire’s. “Are you shaking already? It’s been like two seconds. God, you’re such a wuss.”

  “Am not.” Claire crossed her arms, but her face turned somber. “You sure you’re okay? Maybe we should burn his favorite T-shirt or something?”

  “And where would we do this on board?”

  “We’ve got a gas stove in the galley.”

  Lisa chuckled. “I can see the headline already. Infamous sous-chef Claire Gunterson started the fire that led to the tragic shipwreck on the coast of Tahiti.”

  Claire crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Then tell me how I can make it better.”

  Lisa embraced a reluctant Claire. “I’m fine. It’s not like this relationship was going anywhere. This is a big opportunity for Kirk, and he’d be dumb not to take it. His own gig was always his dream.” Hers too, and in her mind she had envisioned them opening a diving center together—well, he hadn’t. He hadn’t even asked her to go with him—he’d just ended their relationship.

  “But, you could make it work.” Claire’s voice took on an exasperated tone. “We’re in Tahiti once a week, anyway. So, you could see each other.”

  Lisa shrugged and pushed down the sick feeling in her stomach. “I think it’s for the best. He wants to be free. And I can respect that.”

  Claire raised her brows. “You’ve been together for a year and he realizes that just now? What a worthless piece of dick.”

  Lisa choked. Yep. That he was. Another man in her life who stepped out of the future-husband-line and into the dick-line, right behind the first-in-line—Peter Fisher—who dumped her at the sweet age of eighteen and still outshone every man who had followed. But this whole mess said something about her too. Maybe she was self-delusional about the men in her life. Or maybe she was just inept in the whole concept of love and relationships—whatever. She got used to the gut punch when realization hit that her dreams and reality weren’t even in the same ballpark. First it left her stunned, then hurt, then pissed off.

  Argh. Lisa grimaced and rubbed at her chest. She didn’t need this shit. She wasn’t so weak she needed a man to love her. Hell no. She was good on her own. Better off. Stupid feelings only got in the way of what mattered in life.

  They entered the wind-sheltered lounge area where the farewell party for Kirk took place. He would leave the ship tomorrow. Thank God.

  Lisa’s cell phone went off in the pocket of her shorts and she took it out and glimpsed at the display. She sighed. Her mother. How did her mother know the exact moment Lisa was already down on her knees? She hadn’t talked to her mother in months and she would gladly put it off another few if she could. She wasn’t in the right state of mind to take on her mother’s criticism. Not today. Not that she ever was. Lisa silenced the call and slipped the phone back into her pocket and met Claire’s raised eyebrows after she made a beeline to the bar—she needed a drink and fast. “My mother.”

  Claire grimaced and nodded. They had talked enough about Lisa’s dysfunctional relationship with her mother, so Claire understood. “Let’s get something to drink and take it down to our cabin,” Claire said, as if she could read Lisa’s mind.

  Lisa yawned and stretched while they waited for the barkeeper. Yep, their cabin would be heaven. It had been mere chance that she and Claire had started their jobs on the ship on the same day at the same time. Both had never worked on a cruise ship before, so, after they got assigned a shared cabin, they clung together. Luckily they hit it off at once and had been best friends ever since, even though, with two women in such tight quarters—what were the chances? But somehow, they made it work.

  “Hey, Lisa.”

  Lisa stopped. Shit, nearly made it. She turned around and fake-smiled at Marcy, a fellow diving instructor on the cruise ship. (And a bitch of epic proportions.)

  “So, rumor on the street is you and Kirk have broken up?”

  And…right for the kill. That’s what Lisa hated about this ship. Everybody was always in your business. How was it possible? She had tried to escape this very thing when she left her small hometown, Moon
Lake, just to land thousands and thousands of miles away, but smack dab in the middle of the same thing on a ship? Maybe she was haunted? Or just stupid. “Yep, no big deal.”

  “So, you are not heartbroken about it?”

  Lisa could see right through Marcy’s pity smile and stiffened her spine and shook her head. “No. It just didn’t work.” What a pile of bull crap. Even to her own ears her words rang somehow lame, like a quote out of a fortune cookie. She filed away the sudden sting in her chest, which didn’t exactly match her words either, and plastered the smile on her face. This would pass. She would make it pass. So she needed a deflection tactic.

  “I’m okay. Great, actually.” Lisa’s mind fumbled a little. “The test run for the new program went off without a hitch. So, I’ll have enough work on my hands these coming months.” When she’d pitched the program to cruise administration—a program that offered therapeutic scuba diving to people with disabilities, Lisa had been shaking with nerves. But they’d not only picked up her idea, they’d also put her in charge. Lisa wasn’t naïve enough to think they did it out of the goodness of their hearts and not for the publicity, but at least she could help people.

  Claire came back with two bottles of beer and pointed to the door.

  “Ah, the first run, how did the client do? I was with the beginners this week, so we didn’t leave the pool much,” Marcy said.

  “Yeah, how was the first week?” Claire handed Lisa a bottle of beer and settled into their conversation.

  Wasn’t their plan to escape ASAP? Lisa sighed. Brian Glenn had been her first candidate of the program. Brian had lost both legs and the use of his right hand, but it had turned out he could fin perfectly with his prosthetics. Then again, holding his position under water and not flipping over had been a challenge for them.

  “I talked to his wife, Steph, yesterday. According to her, she hasn’t seen him smile and interact with people as much, since it all happened. So, it’s a success, in my book.” Lisa smiled when she remembered how good it felt to receive the feedback. “The diving was a little rough at first, but we got into a groove real quick.” Brian Glenn and his wife, Steph, were the kind of couple Lisa always envied. Her stomach hardened again when her gaze wandered over to Kirk, the man of the night.

  “Do you know what happened to him, you know, with his legs?” Claire asked.

  Lisa shook her head to clear the thoughts off her mind. “Roadside bomb. They had it rough. He battles with PTSD on top of his injuries, which, I guess is tough. But his wife sticks with him.”

  Claire and Marcy nodded, and they fell silent. Soon they said goodbye and Lisa and Claire set out for their cabin. On their way, Lisa could already see the lights at the port of Tahiti and her phone rang again. She pulled it out, glanced at the display, grimaced, and slipped it back inside. Twice in a row—strange. She would call her mother once they were back in their cabin.

  “Lisa!”

  Lisa looked back and saw her boss Chad rushing after them, and groaned. “Yes?”

  Chad stopped before her and shuffled his feet. “Cruise administration informed me they will not fill Kirk’s position. So, we have to drop the new program. Not enough resources. I’m sorry”—he hesitated—“for everything.” Then he gave a decisive nod and turned on his heels back to the party as if he hadn’t just single-handedly destroyed Lisa’s dream.

  Lisa stared at his retreating back and shivered with the sudden coldness that hit her core. The urge to cry was so overwhelming, she squeezed her eyes shut. She’d lost her program and her boyfriend, within forty-eight hours. All the feelings she’d tried so hard to suppress threatened to overwhelm her. But she wouldn’t break down. Not here. Not now.

  “I’m sorry, Lizzy.” Claire wrapped her hand around Lisa’s arm and squeezed gently.

  Lisa forced down the threatening tears and gave her best friend a wobbly smile. She shrugged but remained silent all the way to their cabin. Thoughts jumbled in her mind; somehow it all seemed surreal. Lisa couldn’t remember the rest of their walk back to the cabin. But she must’ve somehow gone through the mechanics, because she was sitting on her bunk, her phone in hand. Ready to call back her mother.

  When the shower started she pushed the button. All she wanted was to crawl into her bed, put her covers over her head, and have this day just end. “Hey Mom—”

  “Finally…nice of you to find the time to call back.”

  Lisa massaged her temples and ignored the sarcasm in her mother’s voice. Conflicting feelings of defiance and inferiority bubbled up within her. Astounding how her mother could put her on edge in mere seconds with just a few, well-placed words and her very own brand of sarcasm. That’s why Lisa limited contact with her mother. She counted to ten under her breath and slowly exhaled.

  There was rumbling on the other side of the phone and after a mumbled conversation, Lisa’s sister Karen came on.

  “Hey, girl, it’s about Dad. He’s been in an accident. We’re in the hospital. It doesn’t look good.” Karen sniffled. “The doctors don’t think he’ll make it. So, come home as fast as possible.”

  Her mother said something in the background, but Lisa couldn’t understand anything over the rush of blood in her ears and the sudden fear that twisted her gut.

  Lisa ended the call and grabbed her bag from above her small closet. Tears pooled in her eyes and were streaming down her face when Claire exited the small bathroom.

  Their cabin was small, so the door caught Lisa in the back, but she didn’t even feel it through her numbness.

  “What the hell happened? Did you call your mother? What did she say to you?” Claire took Lisa gently by the shoulders and made her sit down on the bed. She fetched a box of tissues and sat beside her.

  “It’s my dad…” The wracking sobs made talking difficult. “…He’s in the hospital.” Lisa sniffed.

  Claire handed her a tissue.

  “I need to get on the next flight home. The doctors…Karen…she doesn’t think he’ll make it.”

  The words, spoken out loud, catapulted Lisa out of her shock and plunged her into activity. She jumped up, threw her bag next to Claire on the bed, and grabbed random clothes, underwear, and toiletries out of her closet, and stuffed them into the bag. She stopped for a moment and handed Claire her passport. Claire had already fired up her laptop and secured Lisa an unexpectantly cheap seat out to LA. Lisa would have to change planes in LA anyway and from there arrange the rest of her journey home to the small town of Moon Lake.

  Within the hour, Lisa was on her way home for the first time in years.

  2

  Peter Fisher stopped his truck at the Moon Lake Inn. Cars filled the parking area. Actually, it was packed, and it sounded like a party too. His mind raced. Shouldn’t his mom be the only one here? She had said new guests would arrive tomorrow but only a few guests were currently staying at the Inn.

  He shut the door to his truck, crossed the parking lot, and entered the Inn through the back door which led into the kitchen.

  What the hell was going on? He was here to pick up his mother, as promised. Not because he wanted to, but because she made him promise to drive her to the airport, to pick up Lisa Reynolds, of all people, and drive her to the hospital.

  “Hey, Peter, glad you’re here. Look at all these people.” Peter’s mother, Mary, swiped at her forehead.

  Peter furrowed his brows. “Come on, Mom. Did you forget? We’re supposed to go to the airport.”

  His mother’s face fell. “I know, it’s taken Lisa, like, three days to get home. She’ll be exhausted, for sure. I want her to feel welcome back home and if nobody picks her up at the airport—but what about all these people?”

  Peter frowned. “Yeah, what is it with all these people?”

  “They haven’t forgotten what day it is today,” Mary replied with sad eyes, and Peter flinched back an inch. He hadn’t forgotten either, but life went on; at least that’s how he had spent this day for the last thirteen years, and he’d assumed toda
y wouldn’t be different…

  Apparently not in Moon Lake.

  Peter stepped to the side to make room for Mrs. Brooks, who arrived with a dish full of some concoction, then he bowed his head and looked back at his mom. He knew exactly what day it was, knew it even before he’d woken up today. He allowed himself the feelings of loss and guilt when they haunted him in his sleep. But not after he woke up. Then life went on as usual. Maybe the feelings simmered a little higher in his subconscious on this day, but he didn’t act on it, he didn’t think about it, and he had thought no one else did.

  “You know”—his mother’s eyes softened, and she grasped Peter’s arm—“I didn’t want to do anything today, because of Carl being in the hospital and everything, but it seems our neighbors thought otherwise. They came here without notice and they brought food and everything. I can’t leave now. But you are good to go. Grab something to eat first, and then go get Lisa from the airport and bring her to the hospital.”

  Peter didn’t think for one second that this was a good idea but instead of arguing with his mom, he sighed and kissed her on the forehead. His mother then turned and busied herself in the kitchen.

  Peter stepped through the adjourning door into the breakfast room of the Inn, the center of this impromptu memorial service. The number of people, who stood, talking in small groups around the room, surprised him.